


hiraeth

by i_was_human



Category: Lost in Translation (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fae, Angst, Burns, Curse Breaking, Fae & Fairies, M/M, Multi, No Beta, Pre-Slash, Soul Selling, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:15:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29449122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_was_human/pseuds/i_was_human
Summary: "Hiraeth is a Welsh concept of longing for a home which you can't return to or one that was never yours. not necessarily a house, but a homely feeling such as love. It can be loosely translated as 'nostalgia', or, more commonly, 'homesickness' for a home to which you can't return."or: faerie Jaewon can't return to his home, and doesn't quite have one with the rest of MAYHEM.This, as with all things, is set to change.
Relationships: Ahn Jaewon | Wyld/Kang Dongho | D.Min/Kim Daehyun/Lee Minsoo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21
Collections: Lost in Translation Fic Discord Secret Santa





	hiraeth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RowanStar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RowanStar/gifts).



Never before has Jaewon hated the flower petals peeking out of his hair this much.

He glares at the mirror, tears welling up in his eyes, and he dips his head, a fresh sting building behind his eyelids.

God, what a fool he was.

What- what a _fool_. Agreeing to make a deal with a witch in exchange for- for living a _human life_?

What a fool.

He reaches up to brush one of the petals behind his ear, and his scalp _stings_ as he grips it, yanking it out with one smooth movement.

Red petunia petals.

Symbols of hope.

He can remember, sometimes - can remember dancing with his mother and friends in the middle of the forest, his feet bare and gossamer robes draped over his shoulders, can remember the flower petals speckled in his dark hair, can remember weaving daisy crowns and passing them out to all the other attendees - but he doesn't like to. 

_Hiraeth_ , Dongho once told him, the pair of them sitting in the living room while the elder sipped his tea. _"It's a Welsh word, meaning the longing for a home you can never return to or never really had."_

Dongho's the type to like those obscure, beautiful words, Jaewon thinks. He collects them in his pages - little words and definitions written in swirling, looping script - and it's _so hopelessly endearing_.

Jaewon is just so, so hopelessly endeared.

That's most of the problem, actually.

Well - not actually. Most of the problem is that he sold his soul to a witch, and now there's not a thing he can do but follow through.

The side problem to his main problem, though, is how _hopelessly endeared_ he is by his fully human groupmates.

Minsoo- Minsoo has that _fire_. He burns _so, so bright_ in a way only a human can, and his drive and determination is the best kind of bewitching. He's _stunning_ , and _god_ , Jaewon can't bring himself to look away.

Dongho's calm where Minsoo's burning, cool and placid like the sea at night. He reminds Jaewon of the way the moon looks on the rippling sea - shining, silver, and _so, so beautiful_ \- and when he moves, he carries himself with an almost fae-like grace.

Daehyun is the sun to Dongho's moon, then - brilliant and bright and coaxing even the most stubborn plants to life. Jaewon sees it in the way he moves around the room, the way everyone lights up when they see him, the way he brings light to _everyone's_ life, and it's just-

stunning.

They're all so, so stunning, but there's not a thing Jaewon - trapped as he is - can do about it.

* * *

They've all noticed the flower petals in the trash.

There are running theories in the groupchat - ranging from "secret lover" to "Jaewon secretly grows flower petals and plucks them out Hanahaki-style" (this one was Minsoo's) - but in all honesty, none of them know for real.

That's the worst part, in the end.

The _not knowing_.

And, _yes_ , they're worried. Of course they are. Jaewon's their groupmate, after all, no matter what he gets up to.

(some are more worried than others. see: Lee Minsoo.)

_Still._

There are times where it's... almost concerning. The way Jaewon acts like he's being jerked along by a chain, the way his eyes look so _distant_ and _haunted_ when he thinks nobody's watching - that's what scares them.

He acts like a puppet, those times. 

Acts like-

acts like someone not even in control of their own body. 

And they've seen the burns. 

Only in small snippets when he's getting changed, of course, but they've seen them.

This, of course, begs the question: _what happened_? Those burns aren't shaped like weapons, aren't in places they could normally be, so-

what happened?

What could possibly explain the flower petals, the burns, _and_ the way Jaewon acts? What- what _magical solution_ is there for all three?

God, they wish they knew.

* * *

Some nights, Jaewon dreams of the forest. 

He dreams of dressing the ceremonial robes his mother always insisted they don, dreams of running barefoot through soft grass and spinning around in the dances always known but never explained. He dreams of the haunting song of the fae, dreams of stories soaring up through the treetops and wrapping each of them in the sort of gentle comfort that only comes from being really, truly home.

In his most foolish moments, he dreams of the others being there.

He dreams of Minsoo running with him through the soft grass, dreams of Dongho spinning him in a ring of fae, dreams of Daehyun singing a song with words lost to human understanding, and he _wishes_.

He really should stop wishing.

It was _wishing_ that brought him here, after all - wishing that gave him the iron-brand scars on his skin and tore the petals from his hair. It was wishing that hid his wings from him, wishing that forced him to stumble along behind the bitter whims of the witch that took his soul.

He should stop wishing.

And yet.

And yet, despite the phantom burns of iron against his skin, he can't leave the others.

He could tell them. _God_ , he could tell them, but then he'd have to _leave_ , and _god_ , he loves them too much to leave, so he keeps silent.

He can't have them because of what he is.

He can't return home because of the deal.

Like this, he's damned if he tells them and damned if he doesn't.

And that's- that's fine. His soul belongs to a witch and his wings are long-gone and he's in love with three humans who don't love him back, but that's _fine_.

It's fine if he tells himself it is.

And, well-

they say fae are tricksters.

What better person to trick than himself?

* * *

It's following Jaewon that gives them the answer.

Dongho's _definitely_ against it, and Daehyun's clearly leery, but Minsoo wants them to do it, and they're both absolutely gone for him, so off they go. 

Off to _stalk Jaewon_.

Wow. 

It's not like this might bring up past bad memories of _being stalked_ , or anything. _Surely_ not.

They sneak up the stairs regardless.

Minsoo leans against the door mere moments after Jaewon disappears inside, pressing his ear to the wood as if he'll be able to hear what's going on inside. Maybe he will. Dongho's not entirely sure how well hearing through wood works.

Minsoo grabs his sleeve and yanks him to the floor, and Daehyun takes a seat next to them, pressing his ear to the door. Dongho, on the other hand, chooses to stare in through the small crack, since he _actually knows how to gather information_.

Why did neither of them think of this?

He watches as the CEO grips Jaewon's bare arm, expression dark and malicious and _twisted_ , and Jaewon winces, arm tensing in his grasp. The CEO grins at that, slowly releasing his grasp, and as soon as his hand falls to his side, Jaewon grips his forearm like he's been burned.

From the looks of it, he has.

Dongho's eyes widen at the sight of bright red marks painting Jaewon's arms, and Minsoo catches his gaze, fury bubbling in the leader's pupils.

Somehow, Dongho feels like he should stop him.

And yet, at the same time, he's so, so willing to go to battle for Jaewon that he doesn't say a word.

He urges Daehyun to his feet as Minsoo takes a step back, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he eyes the door. They can hear the muffled sounds of Jaewon and the CEO still discussing inside, and Dongho tugs Daehyun back a step, watching as their leader winds up to charge.

_"...you know what I have-"_

Minsoo kicks open the door, and the CEO freezes in his tracks.

* * *

Jaewon's gaze lands on the boys at the door, and all the breath leaves his lungs.

 _No_.

He tries to step forwards, tries to call out to them, tries to beg them to _leave, leave and run far, far away, because he wants to ruin everything_ but his legs lock under him and his words die on his tongue.

He's nothing more than a puppet.

Something to be played with and directed only as the puppetmaster sees fit.

The CEO's hand digs into his shoulder, his iron rings burning even through Jaewon's t-shirt (and isn't that a horrifically purposeful choice of accessory - something that can actively burn him, actively harm him, something that's a punishment always available) and he _cackles_ , dark and twisted and _terrifying_.

"So you've come to play hero."

"What did you do to him?" Minsoo demands, and _oh_ , Jaewon can _hear_ his voice shake, can _hear_ how afraid he is, but Minsoo _won't run away_. 

_"Run!"_ he tries to beg, though the words stick in his mouth. _"Run, run please, run and never return-"_

"He made a deal," the CEO grins, and Minsoo stares, visibly bewildered.

"What?"

"For his soul," the CEO clarifies, and Minsoo's looking at him like this is some elaborate hidden camera prank show. "There's nothing more valuable than the soul of a faerie, after all."

"A _what_?"

"Minsoo-yah," Dongho warns, expression dark. "What are you?"

"You _believe this_ -"

"A witch," the CEO easily replies, lips twisting into something horrifically out of place on a human's face. "What else could I be?"

"Witches aren't real," Minsoo breathes, and the CEO laughs once more.

"That's what you believe."

Jaewon catches sight of Daehyun inching along the wall, the youngest's hands pressed to the wallpaper and gaze fixed firmly on the fire alarm next to the window, and his mind goes blank.

Is Daehyun going to try to _Wizard of Oz_ the CEO?

He catches the younger's gaze for a moment, trying to convey with his eyes that _no, this is a bad idea_ , but Daehyun simply gives him a thumbs-up and inches closer. 

Shit.

He's about to scream protests - or, well, try to - when Daehyun lunges for the fire alarm, fingers wrapping around the handle and yanking it down.

The ringing of the alarms breaks Jaewon's concentration, and he falls to his knees as his muscles all relax at once, his mind swirling with its new-found freedom.

"Jaewon-ah!"

Someone scoops him up - Dongho, he thinks - and his eyes slide shut despite himself as distant screams ring through the air. 

It's nice, being here.

It's nice being with Dongho.

* * *

When he next opens his eyes, he's lying in his bunk.

There's a warm weight on his chest - Minsoo, he correctly guesses - and when he turns his head from side to side, he can smell the faint scent of petunias. And beyond that-

his wings.

He jolts upright, eyes widening as shimmering wings flare out behind him, and Minsoo shrieks, flailing for an instant before falling to the floor.

"Ah, _what_ \- Jaewon-ah!"

"Hyung," Jaewon helplessly replies, folding his wings back against his back. "You... you know?"

"Wow," Minsoo states, not even answering the question. "Yeah, we know, you're just- _wow_."

"Huh?"

"You're so _pretty_."

Minsoo reaches up to stroke his wings with nothing short of reverence, and Jaewon flushes up to the tips of his ears.

"Ah, hyung-"

"No, no, it's true," Minsoo murmurs, fingers ghosting over the tips of his wings. "You're _stunning_."

"I'm also a faerie..."

"So?"

Minsoo's fingers drift up to his hair, brushing over the velvety petals, and Jaewon relaxes into his touch, glad to finally be _whole_ once more.

Even if it's not perfect just yet, even if he's not _home_ just yet-

he's free.

He's free, and he's still with MAYHEM, and that's more than he ever dared to hope for.

It's more than he ever dared to hope for - more in the ways Daehyun gasps when he sees the flowers in his newly-darkened hair, more in the ways Dongho smiles at him when he brings him soup, clear effort having been put in to match faerie diets. It's clear that there's more than this, and Jaewon can only hope and pray that _there really is more_ , because if there is, then what else could he ask for?

After all, he's finally, finally happy.

Isn't that enough?

(for right now, yes.)

**Author's Note:**

> yes jaewon did teach dongho one of the faerie dances i don't make the rules jaewon does and he is so goddamn whipped
> 
> for: aster!!! i really really hope you like this fic, and i'm sorry it's so late!! ily <3
> 
> i would like to recommend colors by day6 and airplane by f(x) for this fic :D


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